I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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