I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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