How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
