whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
