we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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