well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
