ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
