i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize