Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We left the knife in your bed.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Send help, water and tortillas.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
