How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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