He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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