things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
