She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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