Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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