my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize