Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
