Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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