I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
