I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
