STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
