I want to have your abortion
My hand turned me down
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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