Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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