lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
