Kiss
Puke
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
