Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
