Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
