My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder