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• (310): View more from California

  I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.

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• (925): View more from California

  I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.

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• (415): View more from California

  Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack

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• (509): View more from Washington

  There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.

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