Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.

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  (480): just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers. http://tfl.nu/c1gi
  Replies (4) Good night (2551) Bad night (734)
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  (949): View more from California

  who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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  (949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly
  Replies (7) Good night (1277) Bad night (1830)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.

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  (614): i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious. http://tfl.nu/avof
  Replies (14) Good night (1111) Bad night (7393)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.

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  (319): I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/jqgl
  Replies (36) Good night (7081) Bad night (2617)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

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  (512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8
  Replies (20) Good night (2141) Bad night (5196)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

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  (641): she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"... http://tfl.nu/ydyy
  Replies (11) Good night (1314) Bad night (4136)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.

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  (931): He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man. http://tfl.nu/ct9i
  Replies (31) Good night (7052) Bad night (1093)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears

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  (505): the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears http://tfl.nu/h30c
  Replies (21) Good night (7447) Bad night (1033)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.

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  (316): She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone. http://tfl.nu/tcs7
  Replies (13) Good night (808) Bad night (2068)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.

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  (904): Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one. http://tfl.nu/jh8z
  Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (459)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.

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  (920): Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable. http://tfl.nu/w3qs
  Replies (2) Good night (467) Bad night (451)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?

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  (724): How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people? http://tfl.nu/n7j8
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going

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  (626): I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going http://tfl.nu/kgzn
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless

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  (405): you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless http://tfl.nu/slz8
  Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10

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  (617): you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore (508): it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10 http://tfl.nu/2xhn
  Replies (0) Good night (876) Bad night (351)

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