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Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
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