woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
