how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
