she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
