do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
