I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize