I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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