I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
