I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
