So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
