super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
