I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
