Will you blow on my dice?
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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