I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
