I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
