Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
