Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
another moral hangover. fuck.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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