85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
