I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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