and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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