So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
