Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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