Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
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Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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