I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
