I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
God, I missed his penis.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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