Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
