what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
