I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
