How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
