She's JV to your varsity
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
