so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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