don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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