My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
