fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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