There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
