Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes

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  (407): I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes http://tfl.nu/atny
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (1045)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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  (540): Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh. http://tfl.nu/suhk
  Replies (15) Good night (5977) Bad night (910)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok

  (850): View more from Florida

  They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good

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  (850): I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok (850): They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good http://tfl.nu/qtm7
  Replies (10) Good night (6395) Bad night (1656)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.

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  (850): We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself. http://tfl.nu/yba7
  Replies (3) Good night (2515) Bad night (692)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.

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  (503): I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/iho1
  Replies (19) Good night (3381) Bad night (891)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you

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  (330): I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you http://tfl.nu/tpxb
  Replies (11) Good night (1867) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.

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  (412): Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym. http://tfl.nu/9hgw
  Replies (15) Good night (2539) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?

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  (713): OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'? http://tfl.nu/3dip
  Replies (16) Good night (4027) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

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  (509): I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate http://tfl.nu/14fu
  Replies (6) Good night (2130) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea

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  (504): Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea http://tfl.nu/8yui
  Replies (8) Good night (1232) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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  (718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh
  Replies (27) Good night (506) Bad night (1436)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year

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  (414): Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year http://tfl.nu/dko3
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches

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  (570): It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches http://tfl.nu/nnjx
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie

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  (320): For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie http://tfl.nu/swy2
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (159)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.

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  (440): being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day. http://tfl.nu/9xbm
  Replies (5) Good night (497) Bad night (131)

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