Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

(410): View more from Maryland

and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(816): View more from Missouri

There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?

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(831): View more from California

The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.

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(425): View more from Washington

Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.

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