Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???

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  (303): do u usually make out with people before telling them your name??? http://tfl.nu/ocp0
  Replies (27) Good night (4343) Bad night (1289)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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  (704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj
  Replies (49) Good night (4503) Bad night (1241)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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  (312): i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id. http://tfl.nu/1l5p
  Replies (19) Good night (607) Bad night (2465)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.

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  (412): I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/sjar
  Replies (25) Good night (707) Bad night (3169)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  hahaha! you have a girlfriend

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...

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  (520): hahaha! you have a girlfriend (1-520): tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today... http://tfl.nu/4wx1
  Replies (20) Good night (4395) Bad night (1347)
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  (914): View more from New York

  my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet

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  (914): my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet http://tfl.nu/lao3
  Replies (55) Good night (2670) Bad night (4901)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1112) Bad night (3801)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass

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  (515): theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass http://tfl.nu/ckyi
  Replies (39) Good night (5050) Bad night (2783)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

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  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (1968) Bad night (828)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?

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  (970): There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you? http://tfl.nu/w1xa
  Replies (12) Good night (6442) Bad night (1053)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.

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  (440): She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat. http://tfl.nu/5t46
  Replies (4) Good night (1573) Bad night (882)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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  (623): He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out. http://tfl.nu/ixyd
  Replies (14) Good night (989) Bad night (2094)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted

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  (250): Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted http://tfl.nu/o9wr
  Replies (5) Good night (1368) Bad night (552)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!

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  (678): No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing! http://tfl.nu/2stv
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island

  (209): View more from California

  The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have

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  (209): Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island (209): The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have http://tfl.nu/kv13
  Replies (1) Good night (459) Bad night (620)

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