Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
