Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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  (516): I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss http://tfl.nu/w0b9
  Replies (34) Good night (5939) Bad night (1506)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.

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  (606): I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell. http://tfl.nu/fpod
  Replies (43) Good night (696) Bad night (4222)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning

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  (203): im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning http://tfl.nu/g6xa
  Replies (16) Good night (4058) Bad night (1347)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?

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  (252): Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome? http://tfl.nu/vqed
  Replies (56) Good night (2113) Bad night (9739)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...

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  (519): Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm... http://tfl.nu/v0t6
  Replies (21) Good night (1198) Bad night (7838)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything

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  (561): oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything http://tfl.nu/egks
  Replies (10) Good night (3659) Bad night (1413)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them

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  (218): I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them http://tfl.nu/0wmz
  Replies (4) Good night (2304) Bad night (939)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.

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  (863): Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone. http://tfl.nu/onku
  Replies (3) Good night (2043) Bad night (998)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often

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  (902): Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often http://tfl.nu/p8eg
  Replies (14) Good night (1709) Bad night (602)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.

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  (304): Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened. http://tfl.nu/gr90
  Replies (8) Good night (2536) Bad night (593)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet

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  (518): Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet http://tfl.nu/g9l7
  Replies (4) Good night (885) Bad night (513)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69

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  (719): These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69 http://tfl.nu/x4aj
  Replies (2) Good night (835) Bad night (618)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sex is always the answer.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

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  (630): Sex is always the answer. (630): Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year? http://tfl.nu/kqhl
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (377)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem

  (850): View more from Florida

  #reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder

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  (561): When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem (850): #reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder http://tfl.nu/uh6h
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (351)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.

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  (225): All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much. http://tfl.nu/26fo
  Replies (1) Good night (502) Bad night (213)

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