the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?