I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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