That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
