I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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