Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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