I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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