the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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